The best and worst thing about food trucks is their mobility. Sure, it’s great and they all can simply park next to your favorite bar, thus expediting your post-beer binge on burgers or bánh mì. Even cooler is the fact that if you pay them enough, they’ll come right to your house and cater your pool party. For the lazy and/or navigationally challenged diner, however, food trucks can be extremely frustrating. Their geographical impermanence means you almost always have to track them down via some app or website (believe me, whatever “schedule” they claim to follow inevitably changes). Indulging a spontaneous craving for your favorite food truck waffle sandwich, Korean egg rolls, or artisan PB&J is never very easy.

Although I have never aired such grievances publicly, the Eatsie Boys, Houston’s beloved “purveyors of good eats” must somehow have sensed my food truck ambivalence because last year they opened a brick-and-mortar café a few blocks from my house in the heart of Montrose. Barring enormous brute force from some major meteorological or supernatural event, this space should stay put, and I hope, remain the home of the Boys’ fabulous fare.

The Eatsie Boys made a name for themselves with their food truck by vending tasty innovations on classic fare and the café follows suit, offering many of their signature dishes like the “pork snuggies,” steamed bao buns stuffed with pork belly, pickles, green onions, and hoisin sauce, or the “eggman sammy,” your choice of bacon and/or chicken poblano sauce with a fried egg and cheddar cheese on a challah bun.

The rest of the Café menu is divided into sections of breakfast, soup, salad, snack, and (more) sandwiches, though given you can order anything off the menu at any time means there’s no stressing about an “intergalactic waffle” in the middle of the afternoon. Noteworthy items that made their debut at the Café (and that are not available usually from the Eatsie Boys’ food truck) are the unorthodox but still divine sweet, aromatic matzah ball pho and the tempura kale salad tossed with golden raisins and sweet potato chips and dressed in a white miso vinaigrette. The Boys have also exercised their creative powers to create a new line of sandwiches. The monstrous, moan-inducing “H.A.M” resembles nothing like what mom or dad used to stuff in your lunch box, unless, of course your seven-year-old self demanded a ciabatta layered with slow-roasted pork tenderloin, grilled ham, fried egg, swiss cheese, pickled pineapple, and coleslaw. A (slightly) lighter choice is the falafel sandwich with “peace in the middle east” salad and drizzled with garlic tzatziki sauce, which you can request on the side if you’re still bloated from last night’s debaucher.

By the way, for those fans of the food truck who just cannot separate consumption of Eatsie Boys’ food with near-drunk experiences, never fear, the “Mmmontrose” café is BYOB. I’d swap out at least one glass of that cheap moscato you brought, however, for the house lemonade—it’s just as sweet and far more refreshing.

Eatsie Boys Cafe
4100 Montrose Blvd
Houston TX 77006

Joanna O'Leary


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